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Self Portrait Project // Elastic Heart // 2015

Things are about to get personal. But thats ok. A big part of me being a photographer is being able to be personal through my art. and i’ve learned that you guys love it. it makes me human you know?

If you’ve been following my self portrait project this year. You’ve probably noticed a similar theme. 

Heartbreak. 

and I’m talking collapsing and screaming at the moon till I turned blue type of heartbreak. So when I am going through certain type of feelings (happy, sad, scared, etc) I start taking self portraits. And they can be dark. And that could be an overreaction, but it was my reaction. And the hurt I felt was my hurt. I felt like I was stuck in a storm. An awful awful storm. 

Everyone at some point in their life is going to experience it. This storm. And you know what? it’s probably one of the most painful things a person has to go through. When your heart is broken, it feels like it’s been torn apart into thousands of pieces. It hurts a lot, emotionally and physically. Getting your heart broken makes your heart physically hurt. You cry and cry and wish the feeling is just a temporary nightmare. But, the sad truth? It’s not. It’s reality. And your going to just have to accept it, the pain and all. Be it from a break up, a loss, a situation you can’t change, etc. 

But storms don’t last forever. 

Life is funny. Things change, people change, but you will always be you, so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone. I’ve been heartbroken, but I can still love again. 

So what? What now? You live. You try again. That’s what.

Time will pass; those moods will pass; and you will eventually, be yourself again.

It’s going to take someone really special. to get my attention again. and to keep it. not because i am some picky jerk, but because i’m fulfilled and i’m happy. because i have a purpose and I’m living in it. because there isn’t anything i’d change and I don’t believe you have to *have someone* in order to be who you were intended to be.

because i want the best. i want it to the fullest. i will keep my hope. 

I want to be in awe of your heart. of your ideas.

i will wait for passion. i will wait for intensity.

i will wait for a conversation that grabs a hold of me.

i will wait for that, because there’s nothing less i’d want. When I love, I love with my whole entire heart. That is who I am. 

Because one of these times, it will mean something.

They say love hurts. But that is absolutely not true. It’s other feelings that hurt. Its love that saves you. I don’t know what I would have done without the love of my old friends, new friends, strangers, clients and especially my family. So to all of you…. thank you so much. 

2015 is ending and it was absolutely magical in the end. And I can’t wait for 2016. 2016 will be a selfish year. My time will be invested on me. On improving myself. I want to become a better person physically and mentally. 

There is now a fire inside of me. And i won’t apologize for it. So here’s to the incredible adventures that await. 

2016. I’m ready. 

Well I’ve got thick skin and an elastic heart
But your blade it might be too sharp
I’m like a rubber band until you pull too hard
But I may snap when I move close
But you won’t see me move no more
‘Cause I’ve got an elastic heart
I’ve got an elastic heart
Yeah, I’ve got an elastic heart

And I will stay up through the night
Let’s be clear, I won’t close my eyes
And I know that I can survive
I walked through fire to save my life
And I want it, I want my life so bad
And I’m doing everything I can
Then another one bites the dust
It’s hard to lose a chosen one

Facebook Comments
  1. Sharleen Tufts

    January 1st, 2016 at 1:25 am

    Honey, you are magic… One day you will find the flame to your gasoline. Thank you for all you have shared this year! 2016 is going to be an amazing year.. I wish you the best.

  2. Brian

    January 1st, 2016 at 5:43 am

    Are you breaking up with me?

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